Unidentified Bartender
I learned a great life lesson from a bartender. I was having drinks and dinner at the bar of this Italian restaurant. It had great food, heavy pours, and bad design. I could always get a seat at what usually was a totally empty bar. But not this particular night. I took a seat at the end of the bar. Towards the other end of the bar was a man and a woman. They were clearly friends of the female bartender.
I couldn’t discern all of the words of their conversation. What I could understand is that the woman guest was talking about some situation that was troubling her. She was frustrated and clearly complaining. The guy was nodding his head with reluctant agreement.
Then he predictably said: “It is what it is”.
It seemed that the words almost didn’t even register with the woman.
Then the bartender said something that at first didn’t sound right.
As I thought about what she said I realized that her addition of two words completely altered the meaning, the attitude, and where power would reside.
What she said was a shot of brilliance that made all the sense in the world...
The bartender told her friend, "It Is What YOU MAKE It Is."
In the realm of popular idioms and expressions, few have gained as much traction in recent years as the phrase "It is what it is." Often deployed in moments of resignation or acceptance, this expression conveys a sense of inevitability, suggesting that some situations are beyond our control and must simply be endured. While there is merit in acknowledging circumstances beyond our influence, this phrase can also foster a passive mindset, limiting our agency and potential for growth.
The original phrase, "It is what it is," encapsulates a sentiment of resignation, implying that certain aspects of life are immutable and beyond intervention. It suggests a fatalistic view of the world, where individuals are powerless to effect change in their lives. Consequently, this mindset can hinder personal development and perpetuate a cycle of passivity.
However, by reframing this expression to "It is what YOU MAKE it is," a profound shift occurs, empowering individuals to take charge of their circumstances and shape their own realities.
Conversely, the modified expression, "It is what YOU MAKE it is," injects a sense of agency and responsibility into the equation. By emphasizing the role of personal choice and action, this re-contextualization empowers individuals to actively engage with their circumstances and influence outcomes. Rather than being resigned to fate, individuals are encouraged to seize control of their narratives and shape their realities according to their aspirations and values.
Central to the transformative power of "It is what YOU MAKE it is" is the recognition that individuals possess control in determining their responses to external circumstances. While it may not always be possible to alter the fundamental aspects of a situation, individuals have the autonomy to choose their attitudes, perspectives, and courses of action in response. This shift in mindset opens up a realm of possibilities, allowing individuals to transcend limitations and cultivate resilience in the face of adversity.
Moreover, the re-framing of the expression encourages proactive engagement with challenges rather than passive acceptance. Instead of resigning oneself to the status quo, individuals are prompted to explore avenues for growth, innovation, and positive change. This mindset fosters a sense of ownership over one's life and fosters a proactive approach to problem-solving. Rather than viewing obstacles as insurmountable barriers, individuals see them as opportunities for growth and self-improvement.
Furthermore, "It is what YOU MAKE it is" underscores the importance of personal responsibility in shaping outcomes. It reminds us that we are not merely passive bystanders but active participants in our own lives. This recognition can be empowering, motivating us to take ownership of our choices and actions. By embracing accountability, individuals can cultivate a sense of purpose and direction, driving them towards the realization of their goals and aspirations.
In a world where challenges abound and uncertainties loom large, adopting this mindset can serve as a beacon of resilience and empowerment, enabling individuals to navigate life's complexities with purpose and determination.
In conclusion, the re-contextualization of the expression "It is what it is" to "It is what YOU MAKE it is" represents a powerful shift in mindset. By emphasizing agency, responsibility, and proactive engagement, this modified expression empowers individuals to take control of their circumstances and shape their own realities.
L'Chiam
Cheers
Gin Don
Salud
Santé
Υγεία
干杯
Skål